5 Totally Legit Ways to Protest Gay Marriage

While gay marriage has been legal in Utah for a year and a half now, there haven’t been any incredible protests as a result of Judge Shelby’s decision. Sure, there’ve been some garden variety protests, but nothing like what is currently transpiring in Australia, where a couple will actually get divorced if gay marriage is legalized.

Inspired by this intrepid Australian couple, we in Utah need to protest a little more creatively. Here are some painfully obvious ways to protest the LGBT lifestyle:

1.  Gay people can own homes. Therefore, to protest this, sell your home immediately.  They can also rent and live in buildings, so to be on the safe side, live the homeless lifestyle.

5 Totally Legit Ways to Protest Gay Marriage

2.  Gay people can have jobs. As a protest, quit your job. Because gay people are eligible for welfare, make sure that you don’t take any government handouts either.

5 Totally Legit Ways to Protest Gay Marriage

3.  Gay people can use money. They actually can use credit cards and other forms of payment denominated in US and other currencies. Make your own currency that they can’t use.

5 Totally Legit Ways to Protest Gay Marriage4.  Gay people are allowed to shop at grocery stores and eat at restaurants. But do you know what they don’t do? They don’t forage for food. Become a forager and cast off those chains.

5 Totally Legit Ways to Protest Gay Marriage

5.  It’s hard to believe, but gay people also go to church. Renounce religion.

5 Totally Legit Ways to Protest Gay Marriage

While these steps may seem drastic, how else are you going to show that you don’t support something than by stopping every activity that may be associated with it?


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