Paul Simon had 50 Ways to Leave your Lover.
Train has 50 Ways to Say Goodbye.
And the Utah legislature has 50 Ways to Kill a Bill.
You can make a new plan, Stan. So,
*Slap a huge fiscal note on the bill.
*Hold it in rules.
*Offend someone in leadership.
*Call in expert witness John Swallow.
*Send it back to rules
*Send it to interim study
*”This bill is about legitimate rape….”
*Forget to put it on a committee agenda
*Pull it from a committee agenda
*Have a guy testify for your bill with his assault rifle strapped across his chest.
*Move to the next agenda item
*Adjourn before the vote
*”I ran this by Obama’s people”
*”The Feds love this”
Step out the back, Jack and
*Launch a grassroots attack
*Fire up the media and let them kill it
*Send it to the Senate to die
“Mayor McAdams is a strong supporter”
*Let it die mysteriously on its journey between the two bodies
*Strike the enacting clause
*”It is only a small tax increase”
*Give it to a legislator who snatches defeat from the jaws of victory
*Get the “home teachers” to talk to legislators about it (lobbyists from the LDS church)
*”I’m not a big supporter but…”
*”It worked in California”
*”This bill recognizes the important powers held by the federal government in states’ behalf.”
No need to be coy, Roy.
*Wipe the board and never return the bill to the 3rd reading calendar
*Get the bill caught in the cross-fire of horse trading
*Get a powerful lobby to oppose it and blindside supporters
*”No, why why would I talk to Lockhart about this bill?”
*Get a Democrat, any Democrat to stand and say “This is a solid bill.”
*Vote it down in committee
*Have the Governor veto
*Try threatening legislators with hellfire and brimstone that will rain down if they pass that bill. They like living dangerously.
*Put the bill on the very bottom of the 3rd reading calendar the last day of the session
*Write the bill up V.E.R.Y S.L.O.W.L.Y. If it never gets numbered, it’s not passing.
Just listen to me.
*Write a bill to benefit a narrow constituency and offend a loud interest group.
*You can’t get Jim Dabakis to crack a single joke about it.
*Choose an issue that makes it more difficult for the press to do their job.
*Restrict access to public records.
*Forget to file a bill file.
*Don’t ask Curt Bramble to co-sponsor.
*Try to sub a bill and have no one willing to make the motion.
*Amend the heck out of a bill, make it unrecognizable and let the sponsor kill it.
*Run a bill to get rid of the Zion curtain.
*Run a bill that cuts funding for education.
*”This bill gives Utah it’s fair share of federal spending.”
This list was a group effort, so thanks to the many observers of Utah politics who had suggestions!
Please note – some of these are serious. Some are tongue-in-cheeck. Please feel free to add to this list!!