#worsethanstelter

Brian Stelter

“I must have killed more men than Cecil B. De MIlle.” — The Waco Kid, aka Jim, from the film, “Blazing Saddles”. When I look back at many of the polemics I entered for submission to cachevalleydaily.com and Utah Politico Hub regarding Donald Trump over the past four years, I must admit that I have allowed hyperbole to run amok.  So intense was my disdain for Trump as a man and as a politician that I relegated my weekly column to become nothing more than an amalgam of frothy magniloquence.…

The Godfather of All Nicknames

“Fredo, you’re my older brother, and I love you. But don’t ever take sides with anyone against the family again…ever.” —Michael Corleone, from the film “The Godfather” There are many rules and standards a person should adhere to if they grow up living in a South Philadelphia neighborhood. Near the top of that list is to never be outwardly upset if you are given a terrible nickname. If you do, it will stick. You might as well tattoo that nickname on your forehead. If your friends are in charge of…

Starbucking the Democrats

“If 21 months before an election you don’t believe your candidate’s platform is strong enough to win an election with independent candidates, you might want to rethink who you support.” — Mark Cuban Until the other day, I had absolutely no idea who Howard Schultz was. The first headline I saw regarding his possible independent campaign to become the President of the United States did not mention him being the two time former CEO of Starbucks. When  I found out he was the man from the company that drew up…

Pox America

“Clowns to the left of me. Jokers to the right. Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.” — Stealers Wheel Most internet searches of my name and that of Donald Trump would reveal a litany of polemics published on cachaevalleydaily.com and Utah PoliticoHub in which I scathingly rebuke Trump, his presidential campaign, his presidency, and his supporters. I stand by those columns. For the most part, I was right about what was happening and what would come to pass. In short, Donald Trump is a disaster as a…

When all that’s Left is bullies

“Anyone who fights with monsters should make sure that he does not, in the process, become a monster. And when you look too long into an abyss, the abyss also looks into you.” — from “Beyond Good and Evil”, by Friedrich Nietzsche The greatness in my lede quote to this column is that it transcends time. The precept will never be archaic. It also speaks to the most basic of human foibles.  We silly humans tend to concede to emotions in lieu of reason and logic. We are passionate animals.…

Be prepared…to leave

“I would like to hear you scream in pain.” “Play some rap music.” — from the film “The Last Boy Scout”. Although it may grow tiresome for some that read my columns, there is a reason why I always harken back to my upbringing in South Philadelphia. Many times in this space, the mission of this column is to compare my former life as a big city kid to my current life as a middle-aged man in northern Utah. Your Humble Columnist attempts to convey to my dozens of readers…

Don’t laugh

“If it bends, it’s funny. If it breaks, it’s not funny.” Also, “Comedy is tragedy plus time.” — both from the Woody Allen film, “Crimes and Misdemeanors” This past weekend, the White House Correspondents Dinner was held. At this annual soiree journalists, media personalities, politicians, and actual celebrities intermingle as the Washington, D.C. media gives out awards. The two main events of the evening are the President of the United States making a few comments followed by a comedian scathingly rebuking all things Washington. President Trump has not shown up…

The Art (Bell) of conspiracy theories

“It’s a mystery! It’s a mystery wrapped in the riddle inside of an enigma!” — Joe Pesci, from the Oliver Stone film, “JFK”. Art Bell is dead. I did not kill him. But, if I had, it would be stupid to admit it. When the official story is released, Art Bell will be declared the mortal victim of lung cancer—and that is just what the Kardashians want us to think! Yes, the Kardashians were in cahoots with the CIA, Vladimir Putin and professional wrestler John Cena to eliminate Art Bell.…

Pot of gold

“But let me get to the point. Let’s roll another joint. And turn the radio loud. I’m too alone to be proud.” —from the song “You Don’t Know How It Feels”, by Tom Petty (RIP) I often refer to Utah as a theocracy. I am of the belief that a majority of the elected politicians in Utah believe that their first priority is to promote and implement the moral tenets espoused by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. To me, this is un-American. It is more than allowable…

Christian Conservatism is dead

“Train a child up in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” —Proverbs 22:6 By supporting the candidacy and presidency of Donald J. Trump, Christian Conservatives in America have proven themselves to be ideological hypocrites more interested in having their obtuse phobias appeased by an avaricious madman than holding to the bedrock principles laid out by Jesus in his ministry as it is accepted in the canonical Bible. That’s it. Column over. I’m heading out to grab some lunch. Wait! Don’t…