Will work for fools

“Take this job and shove it! I ain’t working here no more.” —Johnny Paycheck Two hours before I typed this sentence, Gary Cohn resigned as President Donald J. Trump’s chief economic advisor. This is major news because Cohn was one of the few people working in the Trump White House that actually knew how to do his job. This happened in the same week that Hope Hicks, Trump’s Communication Director, announced she is leaving. Also this week, Chief of Staff John Kelly gave an interview where he appeared to openly…

Dogs and hipsters need not apply

“In time, we hate that which we often fear.” — from “Antony and Cleopatra”, by William Shakespeare Before I was beset by a string of bizarre injuries that have rendered my legs virtually useless for most of 2018, I used to enjoy taking my dog Cooper for a run in the Logan City park across the street from my house. I would take “The Coop” for this run about 11 PM, which matters not since dogs are not allowed in the park day or night. I just admitted in this…

GOP – Grisly Old Perverts

“No children have ever meddled with the Republican Party and lived to tell about it.” —Sideshow Bob (R), from “The Simpsons”. What is a Republican? Is the Grand Old Party a harbinger of small government? The place for business-friendly limitations of federal regulations? The party of the awkward proper noun Family Values? The clinging vestige of Christianity as the burgeoning secular American society? Or, as we have seen fully displayed in the past two years, are Republicans no more than a rabidly horrific enclave of sexual predators elected to office…

The vanity of dictators

“Democracy is beautiful in theory. In practice, it is a fallacy.” — Benito Mussolini You could feel the love. Watching American President Donald Trump sitting next to Philippines President Rodrigo Duterte, it was easy to see that these were two like-minded men. It was like two frat brothers reuniting 25 years after college graduation to rehash all their terroristic campus exploits in a wave of sociopathic nostalgia. There they were in a bizarre hand clutch during a group photograph of Asian leaders with the American president. There was Trump offering…

Latinos of Cache Valley

Last week I was invited to watch a short film produced by my friend Mason Wendell. The film consisted of interviews with Latinos who live in Cache Valley describing their experiences in Northern Utah. Shown in the auditorium of Utah State University’s Taggart Student Center, “Logan, We Are Your Neighbors!” (English title) was an enlightening and refreshing experience. After the film, representatives from the USU group Latinx Creative Society—who brought this film to fruition—held a panel discussion where they discussed what it was like to be students of Hispanic descent…

Leave Utah…and take your sin juice with you!

“If you don’t like Utah, leave!” —Many people responding to my “Utah bashing” columns. Utah just cannot help itself when it comes to booze. More specifically, Mormon politicians that run Utah like a theocracy just will not stop passing laws that make beer drinkers feel like 2nd class citizens. It is a fetish they cannot quit. Earlier this year, Utah pols voted to lower the legal drinking limit to .05 from .08. That is no better than a single drink for someone of average height and weight. The blowback was…

Killer pain

“One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small. And the ones that mother gives you, don’t do anything at all.” —from the song “White Rabbit”, by Jefferson Airplane I suffer from gout. I first noticed the problem when I was living back home in Philadelphia in the early 2000’s. In my younger days I was a rub-some-dirt-on-it kind of guy, so I did not know why I was getting this brutal, omnipresent pain in my knee. Eventually I sought a doctor’s care. Without diagnosing the problem, he…

Sex and the State

“Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.” —from Woody Allen’s film, “A Midsummer’s Night Sex Comedy.” Sex seemed to dominate the past week, both in Utah and nationally. I do not want to choose only one sordid story to cast my snarky polemic towards, so I will address the three more prevalent. — An article on cachevalleydaily.com that caught my eye about a lawsuit regarding how homosexuality is discussed in Utah raised my ire and set me into a frothy rage about the Beehive State. The article states there has been agreement struck removing a…

Too stupid to know they’re stupid

“Stupid is as stupid does.” — Forrest Gump, from the movie, “Forrest Gump”. As best as I can surmise, there are three kinds of Americans that voted for Donald Trump to be the President of the United States. The first type of Trump voter is those people who feel the Democratic Party deserted them. They nominated a highly derisive candidate in Hillary Clinton. They wooed environmentalists more than middle-class, blue-collar workers. They offered no solutions for stagnant wages and the loss of the factory jobs that once made up the…

Monumental failure

“Malaise Forever.” —from “The Simpsons”, the engraving on the Jimmy Carter statue that (very) briefly stood in Springfield. I am socially liberal on a great many issues. Having a fairly acute understanding for people who think like me, I can state emphatically that the most prominent character flaw social liberals embody is that they have no history of winning gracefully. Two weeks ago, a group of racists who identified with the Nazis, the Ku Klux Klan, the former Confederate States of America and an array of White nationalist groups marched…