BREAKING: Dieter F Uchtdorf to run for US Senate in 2016

News out of Salt Lake today confirms that Deiter F Uchtdorf will announce a run for the US Senate in 2016 during this weekend’s General Conference of the LDS Church.

“There is a great opportunity to steer this great plane of America into the future,” Uchtdorf said. “Quiet conversations with Utah legislators have assured me that I have 100% of their support..”

It is widely expected that he will get most of the support he needs after he asks for it from the pulpit in Saturday morning’s General Conference session.

Pollsters are puzzled by his near 100% approval rating in the female crowd, ages 45-80 but repeated polling continues to yield the same result.

His campaign slogan is “Flying Toward a Better Tomorrow.”

In completely unrelated news, current Senator Mike Lee and his wife Sharon have recently been called to serve a three year LDS mission in Outer Mongolia. They are expected to report just before the 2016 filing deadline.

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