BREAKING: LDS Church To Create Wards For Liberals

According to sources speaking on condition of anonymity, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will announce at this weekend’s General Conference the creation of separate wards for members who consider themselves more liberal that the mainstream Church.

Presumably, this change will take effect immediately.  The wards will be structured much like current Young Single and Mid-Single Adult wards now in existence.

Records for individual church members will be transferred into the new wards at the members’ request.

In creating separate wards, the number of fights in Sunday School are expected to drop.  “No longer will discussions revolve around whether Barack Obama or George W Bush is the Anti-Christ,” said one tipster.

Lowering the age requirement for missionary service was the last major policy change announced at General Conference.  This new proposal is expected to create the same stir.

Frank Osmond, Professor of Mormon Studies at Utah Valley University says that this could be life-changing. “No longer will liberal Mormons feel like outcasts.  There will now be a place that they can worship what they may.”

Olive Johnson, Vice President of the Utah Eagle Forum said that the change sets a dangerous precedent. “We’re creating two separate Churches — the Conservative Church and the Liberal Church.  We need to be one church, one doctrine.”

Osmond says that he doesn’t see this as a split in the Church.  “In the Church today, the same lessons are taught to the adults in a family ward as are taught in a singles ward, just with a different perspective.”

Letting people worship with like-minded individuals will be a blessing, according to BYU student Hinkley Pratt Young. “Conservatives have FOX News, Liberals have MSNBC.  Now, Conservatives can have the Provo 119th Ward, and Liberals can have the Sugar House 3rd Ward.”

Some people will like this division, others won’t.  As for me, I’m excited for the change.

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