BREAKING: Governor Herbert tests the cannabis before signing HB105

Governor Gary Herbert (R-Utah)
Governor Gary Herbert (R-Utah)

Today UPH has learned the real reason that Utah Governor Gary Herbert was so quick to sign HB105 “Plant Extract Amendments”

While his office has said that it was because of the medical needs of children suffering from severe epilepsy attacks, we have confirmed the real reason. Because the Governor wants to be able to use the cannabis extracts for personal use.

“The Governor has found that this oil makes his hands much softer, and better for long uncomfortable handshakes, as well as random arms over the shoulder” said an Anonymous Member of the Governor’s security detail.

The Governor has apparently confirmed this to members of his staff by bringing brownies every day for the last week to the office, as well as requiring that all the air fresheners throughout the capitol complex to be replaced with patchouli oil.

Originally, his staff thought this was an early APRIL FOOLS JOKE  so we tried to call the Governor for comment. UPH has been unable to get through. However his “ring-back tone” for his personal cell phone has been changed to “The Watchtower” by the Jimi Hendrix experience.

We will report more as information decides to come in.

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