Midday Commentary on Last Night’s News — August 27, 2015

Look, let’s get one thing straight. I SAID LET’S GET ONE THING STRAIGHT:

Utah County’s food scene is barely passable. It’s a bastion of endless crappy chains that rhyme with Applebeeeees, Chileeees, and Olive Gardeeeeeeeen. But there are some gems out there. I ain’t telling you where they are because the last thing I need is your sorry carcass making lines at my locations of patronage.

Anyway, back to the GET THIS STRAIGHT: JCW’s is a reasonably decent burger place. I don’t have anything against it. But if the Trib thinks that JCW is where one stops when one drops into Utah County, then perhaps, just perhaps they need to actually go to Utah County.

Anyway, back to newsy news.

• The LDS Church has decided to stick with the Boy Scouts, which is really the only solution to their problem, which was never a problem to begin with given that there’s nothing else out there that provides what the LDS Church needs. Creating a new Boy Scouts? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Plus, the LDS Church has as much flexibility as they ever wanted because the BSA is set up like that. (Trib)

• Proving that Fox 13 knows how to bring it when they want to, they’ve got a piece on everyone’s favorite celeb polygamist Kody Brown using the recent gay marriage ruling to justify polygamy. I mean, let’s not kid ourselves, that’s where this is headed. If we’re going to play the “consenting adults” game, then the states are going to have to come up some a way figure out tax policy. John Dougall’s got some ideas.

• Is there anyone left in Salt Lake City who isn’t under investigation? Fox 13 comes up with a piece about Investigatedinvestigations into the billboard campaign against Becker, but also an investigation into the Becker campaign. Given how easy it is getting to prompt an investigation, how could they not be used as a campaign weapon?

• Speaking of investigations, the City Weekly tells us the party has all but officially abandoned Rep. Justin Miller by recruiting former Rep. Lynn Hemingway to run against him. Also, Minority Leader Brian King says they’re contemplating ejecting Miller from their caucus.

UTA says they can improve bus service if ya’ll approve a tax increase. But they want to make clear that they can’t advocate for a tax increase. So, you know, pass a tax increase and buses get better. Don’t, and well, it would be a shame to see you standing in the rain like that. Not that they’re advocating for anything. (Trib)

And if none of that interests you, perhaps it’s because you can’t see through the tears in your eyes from this remastered trailer for the re-release of the Iron Giant.

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