5 Totally Legit Ways to Protest Gay Marriage

While gay marriage has been legal in Utah for a year and a half now, there haven’t been any incredible protests as a result of Judge Shelby’s decision. Sure, there’ve been some garden variety protests, but nothing like what is currently transpiring in Australia, where a couple will actually get divorced if gay marriage is legalized. Inspired by this intrepid Australian couple, we in Utah need to protest a little more creatively. Here are some painfully obvious ways to protest the LGBT lifestyle: 1.  Gay people can own homes. Therefore, to…

10 Ways Jade Helm Could Have Been Even Better

You’ve heard about Jade Helm, the military training exercise generating paranoia in the media (on both sides), some mild concern in Texas, and plenty of amusement everywhere else? Assuming the military is trying to stoke the embers of government paranoia, a military exercise conducted on US soil, including special forces instructed to “blend in” with American civilians, and allegedly involving the use of abandoned Wal-Mart stores, Jade Helm is a pretty solid effort. But it could have been improved. Here are 10 suggestions to make Jade Helm even better (1) Date all internal…

What Jim Dabakis said…and what he really meant.

Why Jim Dabakis said he got out of the race for Salt Lake City mayor:   What Jim really meant: WONK ALERT!!  I sat down with Jackie Biskupski this afternoon. I was the better candidate, but whatever. Jackie has been complaining and complaining for the last 9 days.  Jackie is a hell of a persuasive lady!  She decided that it would be best for me to leave the race.  She told me “Jim, put on your FB page, ‘I am endorsing Jackie for Mayor.’” This election is too long for me to…

Don’t Stop at Bitcoin: What other “alternative currencies” should Utah explore?

Today the Utah House passed HCR6, a bill to encourage the state to investigate accepting payments via Bitcoin. If you’re not entirely sure what that is, it’s a virtual currency created by having your computer do a whole lot of math in the background. But why stop at Bitcoin? Here’s some other things the state could investigate taking as payments. Bitcoin competitors. Yes, there’s a bunch of Bitcoin spin-offs. Dogecoin, Coinye, and dozens of others would love to be in on that game. Heck, the state could even make their…

Why I’m Running for Utah’s 3rd Congressional Seat

When in the course of human events, if an opponent rises unchallenged, it is incumbent upon one of the citizenry to rise to the occasion, to give the people choices in their election. After watching Jason Chaffetz destroy and dismantle Brian Wonnancott in a debate for Utah’s 3rd Congressional seat, I decided then and there – or a few days after; who’s counting? – to throw my hat in the ring to make this race a little more competitive. If the Democrats aren’t going to try, let’s have an Independent…

Why The Ghostbusters Must Be Stopped

Who are the Ghostbusters? Living Ayn Randian archetypes using their own genius to create a new technology to save humankind? Or living proof that capitalism destroys and only government can save us? Read Ted & Annette Fleming’s scathing expose on the Ghostbusters’ tactics and wonder no more.  The Flemings reveal these so-called “parapsychologists” for the hustlers they are. Ghostbusters’ founders, Peter Venkman, Raymond Stantz, and Egon Spengler, are barely scientists backed by dubious credentials. The purpose of science is to serve mankind, but these men seem to see science as…

What If Utah Politicos were Simpson Characters…

We all know that there are no shortage of characters here in the political sphere in Utah.  So we decided to incorporate a few of them and see how they would stack up against the lovable characters from the Simpsons. Jason Powers / Mr. Burns Both are incredibly smart and capable at what they do best.  However, the methodologies by which they use to achieve their means can be questionable at times. Comic Book Guy / JM Bell I don’t think that anyone is going to disagree that there is anyone in…

The Next 10 Activities the Utah Legislature Should Ban

A much publicized law goes into effect today banning drivers from manipulating their cell phones while driving. No more unfriending on Facebook at stoplights or texting selfies to your boyfriend while zooming down the freeway.  It seems while we are at it, we should ban a few more things, in fact here are my predictions on the next 10 things the Utah Legislature will ban while driving:

Dear Delegate: Sorry Not Sorry

  A few days before the Utah County Republican Convention, the Republican delegates in Legislative District 57 received a letter from the Foundation for Government Accountability (“FGA”) giving us their honest assessment of the candidates. You know the letter. It lionized Rep. Brian Greene (who eventually won with 69.8% of the vote) and blasted John G. Stevens (for unconfirmable employment) and Holly Richardson (for “tweeting” and for “blogging”). But this letter, though claiming to be from the FGA and sent on  FGA letterhead, was done without the knowledge or consent of the…

Cattle, Tortoises and Militias, Oh My!

I found out today that I have a fine on my library card. Not only that, there is a court order for me to pay those fines. Using measured, reasonable steps, Salt Lake County is in the process of deploying a SWAT team to my house to forcibly remove the overdue books from my home. Unified Police Department snipers are also aiming at my house. Our government is known for its careful and proportional responses to disputes like this, so I am sure no unarmed teenage girls will be shot…