Top 5 Other Totally Legit Emails Mitt Romney Sent from his iPad To Best Bud Mike Leavitt:

ap_mitt_romney_poolside_New_Hampshire_jt_120714_wblog

EDITOR’S NOTE: THE FOLLOWING IS SATIRE. REALLY. RELAX. 

  1. “Great to catch up.  How long has it been?  Seems only yesterday, I was totally focused on get out the vote in Ohio and waiting until after the election to meet with the completely awesome transition team you assembled for me.”
  2. “I’m so glad you totally brought me and Ann up to speed on the Count My Vote petition drive. I think it’s exactly what Josh needs, and I completely agree that primaries are the only way to get the will of the people.  Except when I am asked to deliver a recorded statement to the convention again.  Or when I’m in Iowa, which is just an awesome state, by the way.  So many great people in Iowa.”
  3. “Please have your team send over to me the latest spreadsheets on the signature collection efforts. Did I ever tell you about how I personally counted paper clips before my firm decided to invest in Staples?  Important lessons we can all learn from my actions regarding investing … and counting.”
  4. “Also, thank you for filling me in on all the efforts your firm is making to profit off the Affordable Care Act.  Of course, we agree that the law is just a terrible one.  But it is the law of the land.  And it gives me and Ann comfort to know that you are going to help implement it.  And it is a totally legit, free-market way to make a living, by the way.”
  5. “In summary, this convoluted plan you have to unseat Mike Lee is just top notch.  And the dream team you’ve brought together to execute the plan is the bee’s knees.  I have to ask, though, have you considered whether it would have been more cost-effective to back a challenger, hire Dave Hansen, and try and take him out at convention?”
Liked it? Take a second to support Utah.Politico.Hub on Patreon!

Related posts